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Have you ever hurt someone, felt guilty and wished you had acted more sensibly? We’re all human and we make mistakes. We sometimes hurt others with our words, actions or intentions. We can hurt the people we love very badly with our mistakes, but it doesn’t mean that the relationship is over.
So what to do if you’ve hurt someone deeply?
Well, you need to apologize to that person you might have offended. We understand that apologizing to someone can be difficult especially when you’re not good at communicating your feelings.
In this article, we’ll share 5 tips to apologize to someone you hurt deeply. So keep reading to strengthen your bond with your loved ones.
How Do Apology Strengthen Relations?
Conflicts are the part of any healthy relationship. Similarly, apology is also an important part of maintaining trust in a relationship. An apology can help restore the dignity of those you’ve hurt, if it’s offered sincerely.
The important thing about apologizing is that you don’t always do it for others. Sometimes, you need to apologize for your own healing. Below, we’re sharing some effective ways on how to apologize to someone you deeply hurt so you can implement these tips in your life.
Why Does Apologizing Feel Difficult?
You feel awkward while apologizing for a number of reasons. The idea of admitting your mistakes is one such reason. Humans just aren’t that great at letting themselves know that they did something wrong.
Blaming someone or something for your wrong choice can be as easy as breathing, but a real heartfelt apology means you need to admit you did wrong and that it won’t happen again. That’s why you feel burdened to apologize to someone you hurt deeply.
5 Ways to Apologize to Someone You Hurt Deeply
So if you finally convinced yourself to apologize to that person you offended and you wish to start the process of reconciliation then you are welcome. Every time you are searching for how to apologize for having offended a friend it is because you want to do anything possible to make your friend forgive you.
- Clear & Open Communication
When you’re offering an apology, clear and open communication is essential to make sure your message is understood and well received by the person you’re apologizing to.
If you want to strengthen your communication skills further, check out our post on 7 Simple Ways to Improve Communication in Your Relationship for practical tips that can help enhance your conversations and deepen your connection.
- Pick the Right Timing
It takes a lot of effort to apologize so choose the right time to put in those efforts. If the person you hurt is already stressed, apologizing will only make them feel worse. The idea is not to apologize at the wrong time, when they are already overwhelmed with emotions.
Also, if you are to apologize to someone, that person must be available for a deep, meaningful conversation. In the same way, your surroundings matter when you’re having a regretful conversation. Certain places that are loud can also sometimes interrupt.
- Accept Your Mistakes
When you decide to accept your mistakes, you understand how your mistake has impacted the life of the other person. When you say that you will do better, you’re actually admitting that you’ve made a wrong decision.
For instance, if you want to apologize for not coming to the office and causing some inconvenience, you will have to let your team members know that they had to bail you.
Similarly, if you were engaged in a fight and lost your temper and then proceeded to say some awful things, you should say sorry for the things you said.
When you are apologizing for your wrong doings, you will notice that you are eager to justify how you got to do it. But it is advisable to avoid it because you will end up sounding as though you are out to justify why you are at fault.
An apology must be sincere but at once, an apology must be empathetic. You should find a healthy way of expressing how you feel by saying that you know how you made someone feel and how much you’re sorry for that.
- Express the Regret
Apology is not just about saying ‘I’m sorry’ when you’re making a thoughtful apology. The words you use to communicate what you are feeling to the other person express how guilty you feel about what you’ve done and how eager you are to make things right going forward. Saying it the right way can open them up to trust you again and rebuild the relationship.
It’s much easier to apologize when you know what you did wrong, but it can get real awkward and confusing when you accidentally hurt someone.
So, how do we apologize to someone we hurt without meaning to?
Be as honest as you can be. Your words and your body language should indicate to the person you are apologizing to that you didn’t mean to hurt them. Just let them know that you didn’t mean to cause any problem, but you also want to apologize if it helps.
- Change your Behaviour
You must have heard a great saying that; “the greatest apology is the one through action” and this is quite true. If you still make the same mistakes, maintain the same attitude after making any apology, it is just a combination of words. After an apology, it is the other person’s responsibility to let you know how you can start making things right so as not to upset them again.
For instance, if you have anger problems and you shout at your friends or even your family members. In such a case, saying sorry will not alleviate the pain you have inflicted on another person. After you get to understand how to work on your anger then you make your loved ones aware that you are a work in progress.
The strongest apology for anyone who has betrayed the trust consciously or unconsciously is to alter the actions. It is sometimes best to own up and then ask the other person what change they would want to see in you.
- Prepare to Face the Music
If you are going to continue hurting again and again and say sorry for everything you have done wrong, then be ready to be fired anytime. But if you want to make things better you should be able to accept whatever response you have from your loved ones and respect their choices.
Perhaps it’s possible that the conflict among you has had a bigger impact on them than you realize and they need a break and time to reassess their own feelings about the relationship. Or they may decide to keep a distance and not forgive you at all.
In any case, you are supposed to respect their decision and be patient with them. So if you don’t get the response you were anticipating, don’t be ticked off. It’s not about you, it’s about how you are with that person.
What if You Don’t Apologize?
Maybe you decided not to apologize and act like you didn’t do anything wrong because you are afraid to be labeled a loser. This attitude may jeopardize the whole relationship and further conflict. Apologizing makes the person’s heart soft for you.
But, when you deny your mistakes, you leave a bad impression about your personality, and the person you hurt never trusts you again.
Final Thoughts
An honest apology can silence people and make them more together and more tight. We hope that these tips discussed above will give you some idea of how to apologize to someone you have really hurt. You should be very careful when saying sorry but you should also know the place and time to say sorry. Sorry can be just the beginning as it’s the follow up that truly matters.
Admitting your mistakes does not mean that you will take the blame for the whole conflict. Just admit you were wrong and apologize. That’s not your fault if the other person has also hurt you during the conflict. What you say should be what you do. Sit down and tell your loved ones how you feel and make it up to them.
You both should set boundaries and rules that you both should follow for your relationship to thrive.